In my younger days, I used to think that if a man I was dating really liked me, he’d be able to anticipate my needs, escalate the relationship at the appropriate time and generally read my mind without any effort on my part. When none of these things happened, I assumed he didn’t really care about me and our relationship was doomed.
This may sound silly, but I’m not the only woman to have behaved this way. I’ve seen it happen over and over again with my clients.
Becoming clear about what your needs are in a relationship and communicating them directly is an essential skill.
You can learn how and doing so will revolutionize your love life.
First, discover what your needs are and own up to them unflinchingly. If you need it, you need it. Don’t apologize. It’s OK to have needs.
Ask your man for what you need directly and in a friendly manner. It can help to compliment him first and tell him what you appreciate about him.
Avoid making him guess what you want or becoming passive-aggressive. Don’t wait until you’re so upset that you act out. If you can’t communicate calmly, wait until you can.
It’s OK to be afraid, but you still need to communicate.
Once you take this risk, your man’s response to your request will reveal valuable information about his suitability as a long-term partner.
Does he listen and try to work with you or stonewall? Is he interested in meeting your needs and finding a solution together? If he isn’t, why would you want to be with him?
Most men really do want to make the women in their lives happy. If he’s signed up to be your boyfriend, it is extremely likely that this is the case and you’d do well to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Please don’t try to disappear yourself or your needs in a relationship. We all have needs and it’s up to us to communicate them to those who care about us.
When we take responsibility for communicating our wants and needs appropriately, we give other people a chance to love us.
If you enjoyed this post and you’re ready to find the love of your life, check out my free video series “3 ways to find the love you want”.