Has he said those 3 magic words? Do you love him back? Yay!!
Falling in love is one of the most magical things that can happen to us in life. I don’t want anyone to miss out on this wonderful experience. Intoxicating as it is though, it doesn’t mean you’re a match with this person. Falling in love is the easy part.
Love is not enough to keep things going. It’s only one ingredient in a successful relationship. Don’t allow love to blind you to deal-breakers or keep you from the life you really want to have.
Love is necessary, but it’s only part of what you need to build a lasting relationship with someone. You’ll also need to have compatible relationship goals, a commitment to each other, communication skills, and a real desire for the well-being of the other person.
Successful long term relationships require practical consideration. Do you want to live in the same location? Do you agree on finances, religion, marriage, and whether or not to have children? Are you in agreement on lifestyle choices, such as drinking, smoking, and social activities?
These things may sound boring, but they can wear on a relationship over time. Make sure that you discuss them early on.
Most of us have had the experience of staying in a relationship that’s not working for much too long because we have strong feelings for the other person.
Red flags are flying high and you know your needs will never be met with this person. Still, you stay because you hope against hope that something will change or somehow become OK because you have this feeling.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been on the phone with clients or friends who are in miserable situations and when I encourage them to do something about it the response is “But I still love him”.
The price for this kind of love is much too high. Love should make your life better, not worse.
Always remember that true love begins with loving yourself. Part of loving yourself is having boundaries and the wherewithal to stand for the life you want to create.
Allowing yourself to get to the point where you fall in love with someone you’re not on the same page with can catapult you into a huge romantic detour. Love does not conquer all.
Think about those you love who love you back, your family, your friends, perhaps even your colleagues. These people want the best for you. None of these loves is going to cost you your dreams. A dead-end relationship will.
I’m a romantic, and I love happy endings. I really want one for you. That’s why I do this work.
Love is amazing, but it’s only part of a happy relationship. In the end, love is not enough. Please don’t ignore the rest of the picture and hope it will all work out because you love each other.
Invest your time wisely on early dates to assess whether or not the people you’re spending time with are able to have the kind of relationship you want to have. Then go ahead and fall in love. It’s awesome!
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