So you’ve decided that it’s time to get serious about finding your Mr. Right. You’re done with dating the bad boys, you’re over the ex, and the stars have aligned. You even have some fantastic outfits to wear on dates. You’re finally ready for Mr. Right and you’d like to work toward meeting him. Great! Now what?
It’s a big world out there and you have to narrow your search somehow. It’s a lot easier to find something if you know what it is. Start by writing your big list, narrow it down to five non-negotiables and consider the 80/20 rule.
The first thing to do is get out some paper and write down all the qualities you’d like for him to have. Even if you’ve done this before, do it again and don’t hold back. Put it all down on paper and don’t worry about judging it.
Do you care what religion he is? What about his height, his profession, his level of health and fitness? Would you prefer that he enjoys chick flicks or cheers for your favorite team?
Don’t edit yourself at this point or worry about the possibility of finding someone with every single one of these qualities. You’re simply brainstorming at this point so put it all down on paper. Dream big.
Once you have everything written down, let it cool off for a bit. You can come back to it a day or so later and add some things if you like. Once you feel the list is complete, it’s time to narrow it down to your non-negotiables.
Take your list out again and circle the ten most important qualities. Take your time and really think about this. Consider the kind of person you’re going to want to spend a significant amount of time with for many years to come.
Does he really have to be six feet tall or earn six figures? Which ten qualities are absolutely necessary and which ones are window dressing?
Once you’ve narrowed your list down to the ten most important qualities, take out an index card and write down the five most important qualities on it. These are your absolute must-haves.
Your Mr. Right will likely have many of the qualities on your big list, but he absolutely must possess these five qualities for you to consider dating him at all. It’s a deal-breaker if he doesn’t have all five of these.
Now that you’ve got a really solid idea of what you’re looking for, you’ll be able to recognize your Mr. Right. It would be great if he had all of the qualities on your big list, but it is unlikely that he will. He should have every single one of your top five though.
It’s good to keep the 80/20 rule in mind when it comes to what you can expect in dating. If you meet someone who has 80% of the qualities you want and has all of your top five, he’s a keeper.
Don’t make the mistake of tossing someone wonderful because you’re always hoping for someone better.
If he has your top five, is ready for the kind of relationship you want to have and doesn’t know how to dress, just take him shopping and consider it a win. You’re looking for a relationship, not a résumé.
Just like regular shopping, man-shopping works better when you have a list. Know what you want before you head out and you’ve got a much better shot at finding it.
If you enjoyed this post and you’re ready to find the love of your life, check out my free video series “3 ways to find the love you want”.