Has it been a few days since you’ve heard from your new guy, even though everything seemed to be going well? Have you been staring at your phone since the morning after you slept with him for the first time? Does your boyfriend have that distant look in his eyes?
The much-dreaded pull away has been the cause of female angst since the beginning of time. We ladies cherish our relationships and tend to do everything we can to stay connected to those we love. It’s true that we need space sometimes, but we’re usually much different than men in this area.
I’m going to address 3 situations where men commonly pull away; after a few dates, after having sex early on, and when you’re in an established relationship.
After a few dates it’s fairly common for a man to pull away. If he finds you attractive initially, he may pursue you ardently at first and then realize later on that he just isn’t feeling it. The initial physical attraction wasn’t enough to sustain his interest and he moved on.
If you’ve only seen him a few times, this is likely to be the case and the best thing to do is to simply move on. I recommend dating more than one person at a time until you actually decide to become exclusive with someone so that you don’t become too invested in one man early on. You can read more about that in this post.
It’s also fairly common for men to pull away after having sex. This can be extremely upsetting for a woman when she thought things were going well and really liked him. Again, the best thing to do is to move on. Most men do not attach the same meaning to sex that women do.
If you don’t want to risk this happening in the future, wait to have sex with someone new until you’re in a committed monogamous relationship. You can read more about that here.
In both of these examples, I don’t recommend reaching out or trying to get closure. You can send one text to ask if everything’s OK if you’re really concerned that something may have happened to him, but realize that it’s a long shot and don’t chase him down. He’s a grown man and he knows how to find you.
Finally, even when you’re in an established relationship, men will pull away from time to time. This is simply how men are wired. They need a certain amount of space in order to feel like themselves and miss you. If you let him go do his own thing, he’ll be back in no time.
Try to keep from taking it personally and spend some time taking care of yourself, hanging out with your friends and doing things that make you happy. When he comes back, be understanding and encourage him to have his guy time. He’ll feel lucky to have such an amazing woman in his life.
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