Your profile is written and live on a dating site, you’ve got great pics and you’re ready to go. You’ve even gotten some emails. Now what?
It’s important to focus. You’re dating online to find someone to have a relationship with. If you keep that in mind, you can narrow your activities down to the essentials and have time for the rest of your life as well.
You can do this best by determining the relationship potential of the men who email you, responding to the ones that look promising, and meeting one or two men per week.
Remember that you’re looking for a relationship, not a resume. If he has a fantastic photo and a good job description but sends you a one-word email, think twice about responding. You’re looking for someone who will put in the time and effort required to have a relationship with you.
Look for a good opening email that shows that he took the time to read your profile. Don’t worry too much about photos. If you have great photos, which you should, realize that you’re in the minority and most men won’t. He doesn’t have to make the cover of GQ, he has to make you happy.
Hopefully his profile will say something about the kind of relationship he wants to have and his relationship-readiness. Red flags include long distance, no pics, recent divorce, negativity and complaining about exes.
A profile that says he’s super busy right now and his career, kids, aging parents, fill-in-the-blank come first all indicate that you stand a very good chance of merely warming his bed while he pursues what’s really important to him. Bad idea.
Log on to the site at least once a day and try to respond to promising emails within 24 hours. If you’re not receiving emails from anyone you like, make it your goal to write to one man every day.
Write friendly emails. Ask open-ended questions. Try to find something in his profile to draw him into a conversation about. You don’t have to write a novel but do try for at least 3-5 sentences. Don’t compliment him. This puts some men off and makes it sound like you’re putting him on a pedestal.
Once you’ve exchanged two or three emails, have at least one phone conversation before agreeing to meet. You want to make sure that you can have a decent conversation with him before you take time out of your schedule to go on a date with him.
Use extra caution when corresponding with someone who lives far away or says he’s in the military. It goes without saying that you should not send anyone money or gifts.
If he’s not able to meet you or just wants to text, move on. The reason you’re online is to find someone to date, so make sure that you go on dates. Once you get into the swing of things and start dating regularly, you should be able to find someone to have a relationship with inside of a few months.
Online dating is a process, but it’s worth the effort it takes to do it right. More than one-third of new marriages starts with an online introduction now. Yours could be next.
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