Are you really exclusive?

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Are you really exclusive?

You’ve been on a date, or three with a guy you really like. You’re ready to pull down that online profile and make it real. You can’t imagine that he wouldn’t feel the same way.

Not so fast! If you’re looking for something special, you may not benefit from throwing in the towel so quickly.

The landscape of dating has changed a lot in the past few years and if you’re new to dating it may be quite a shock. The days of finding someone and quickly settling in to boyfriend/girlfriend mode on the track to commitment and marriage are long gone.

It’s time to upgrade to the new datescape. In the age of prolific online dating, exclusivity is best discussed openly, not assumed. An exclusive dating arrangement may not always be in your best interest, so it’s best to only agree to be exclusive with someone who can give you the kind of relationship you want to have.

Exclusivity needs to be discussed, not assumed. The days of assuming that you’re exclusive with someone after a few dates are over, quite possibly for good. Most people are dating online these days and you simply cannot assume that you are exclusive with someone. So don’t.

Date to your heart’s content and assume that he is too. If you don’t want to sleep with someone who is going to go straight home and log onto his online account, keep your clothes on until you’ve had a conversation about what kind of relationship you’re going to have.

Exclusivity eliminates your other options and is not necessarily the best dating plan for you. It’s so easy to get attached to people who have been in your life for a while, especially if you’ve been on your own for a bit.

Falling into an exclusive dating arrangement takes you out of the mix, and it’s simply not worth doing if the man you’re with isn’t offering you the kind of relationship you want to have.

Only agree to be exclusive with someone who can meet your needs. This may sound Machiavellian, but men do this all the time and so should you. Honestly, men look out for themselves much better than we women do, because they were raised to do so. I’m here to tell you that you’d better look out for yourself, because if you don’t, who will? You’re worth looking out for.

You’d never take a job that you knew up front would not be satisfactory, hoping it would change once they realized how great you are. You have a great resume so you’d just find another job, right?

Why would you agree to be exclusive under vague terms with no promise of your relationship needs being met when there are so many people to date? You wouldn’t. You’d only agree to be exclusive with someone who offered acceptable terms.

There are men who want what you want and they’re out there looking for you. There’s no rush to be exclusive until you find someone who can offer the kind of relationship you want to have.

 

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