Are you looking outside yourself for love?

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Are you looking outside yourself for love?

Why do you want love? Sit down and really think about it.

You might think that this is a silly question. Isn’t something wrong if we’re not in a relationship? Doesn’t everyone want to be in a relationship? Aren’t you supposed to want one? It may not have ever occurred to you to ask yourself why.

Do you want companionship, sex, romance? Are you bored? Are all of your friends married except for you? Is your family worried about you? Do you think life will just be better once you find this person?

Some of us can’t bear not to have a love interest for even the briefest amount of time. Think about all the newly single people searching for new partners before the divorce is even final. Why? What will happen if you’re single for a few months?

Getting to the bottom of why you want a relationship can be extremely valuable. Once you discover what you’re looking for and why, you’ll have a much better chance of finding it and being happy with your life.

Love is not a commodity that you can go out and get, it’s something that you share with the world. Love is something that you are. If you think that once you find the right person, the rest of your life is just going to fall into place, you’re missing the point.

Even if you’re fortunate enough to meet such a person, he will be a mere mortal human being, not a magical deity who can erase all the unpleasantness of life.

A relationship is not a shortcut to a better life. It’s a way of sharing who you already are and what you already have with another human being.

Once in a relationship, you’ll wake up in the morning and you will still be you. You’ll still have the same struggles and problems you have today. You’ll bring them into your relationship and he will bring his as well.

Many times, we don’t realize the unrealistic expectations we’re putting on our relationships until we sit down and face them. We’ve grown up in a culture that glorifies love and romance to mythical proportions.

We expect so much from one person, one relationship. Dizzying chemistry, epic romance, near physical perfection and a lifestyle rivaling the most fantastic of magazine spreads. Does anyone see a problem with this?

I’d like to encourage you to fall in love with yourself and in so doing open your heart to the wonderful possibilities of a real relationship as opposed to an unattainable fantasy.

Think about why you want that relationship, the kind of life you want to have and what you’re willing to do to close the gap for yourself today. Fall in love with yourself and create a life you love now. Then, the relationship will be the icing on the cake.

 

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