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You decided to try online dating, posted your profile online and bam! You’re inundated with emails, winks, smiles and requests for dates. Congratulations! While this is a fantastic situation to be in, you may feel overwhelmed very quickly. Want a great system for managing all this attention? These ideas should help.
- Be specific in your profile. Make it clear exactly what you’re looking for in a friendly way. Talk about the kind of guy you’re looking for and the kind of relationship you want to have. Some men who aren’t what you want will self-select out, leaving you with fewer, but higher-quality responses.
- Avoid the use of the words “fun” or “up for anything” in your profile. This sounds sloppy, like you’ll just date anyone, which isn’t true, right?
- Please do not post a photo of yourself in revealing clothing unless you want disrespectful emails and a phone full of dick pics.
- You don’t have to respond to every email. It’s nice to be thoughtful and respond to a well thought out note, but I encourage you to ignore the one-sentence or one-word emails. Your time is valuable.
- Don’t take things personally. This is the internet, people say and do stupid things. You don’t know these guys. If you get a random email from a wingnut, just hit delete. If you see a pattern, think about what in your profile may be drawing in this behavior.
- It’s not necessary to write rejection responses. Sometimes this really triggers people. It’s understood that no response is a rejection.
- When you do write a rejection response (to a well-thought out email that someone took the time to write to you personally, for instance) it’s best to stick to neutral language such as “thank you for your note but I don’t feel we’re a match”. Refrain from stating the reason. It isn’t necessary and may come across as hurtful.
- Speak on the phone at least once before agreeing to meet a person. That way, you will know that you can hold a conversation with him. Much can be determined from a single 10 minute chat on the phone. It takes much less time than a date.
- Be selective. It’s not necessary to meet everyone in person. Use the profiles, emails and phone conversations to screen for the best candidates so that you can get to know them and have time to do other things besides date. One or two quality dates a week is plenty. You don’t have to spend hours lining up guy after guy at Starbucks.
- Enjoy! You’re getting out and meeting new people and that much closer to your goal of finding love. This is how it’s done.
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