You’ve just started seeing someone fantastic. You’re really excited about him and you’re pretty sure he feels the same way. You’d really like to get to the good part and lock this thing down already. There’s no one else nearly as fabulous in your world and you don’t want him to get away.
What to do? First, calm down. Early phase dating can be an intense experience. You can go months without meeting anyone interesting and then bam! Your dream man appears out of nowhere. Or you can get excited about someone every other week. Most of the time, your experience will be somewhere in between those two extremes.
It’s best to keep in mind that when you first begin to date someone, you don’t really know him yet. You honestly have no idea whether or not you’re compatible or on the same page relationship-wise. It takes time to get to know someone new.
Most of what you see in the early stages of dating is a combination of what you want to see and what the other person allows you to see. Want proof? Look at your past relationships. Didn’t you think those people were wonderful at first? Didn’t you want them to think you were amazing?
I’m not trying to discourage you, I’m simply pointing out what tends to happen early on in a dating relationship. If you find someone attractive, you’ll tend to fill in the blanks with what you want to see.
Instead of succumbing to raw attraction and chemistry, check out how this person shows up in your relationship over time. Does he call when he says he will, or does he only text? Are there regular, thoughtful dates that are planned ahead of time or does he just want to “hang out”?
It shouldn’t take too long to see where things are going. Attraction is no excuse for tolerating mistreatment. You deserve to be treated well. It’s up to you to make sure that you are.
Take the time to get to know a new guy before you jump in with both feet. Evaluate his relationship potential, not just his sex appeal. Can you really be happy with him? Does he have your best interests at heart? Will this relationship go the distance?
Make sure that you want the same things before deciding to commit to a man exclusively. You can afford to take your time.
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