self help

December 26, 2018

How to Prepare Yourself for the Perfect Relationship

The process of dating can be one of the best personal growth experiences you can participate in. How? You may ask. First of all, not only can the dating process help develop self-awareness, it can also prepare you to be in a relationship by putting yourself out there and meeting new people. That act alone takes courage. Dating also prepares you to be honest with your heart, to find exactly what it is you’re looking for, and to allow each date to teach you what you really want in a relationship. If you’ve been single for a long time, gone on a bad date, or jump into a relationship only to realize that the person you’re dating is just not right for you – rather than beating yourself up, ask yourself what it is that you can learn from the experience. What can you do differently next time? Don’t just […]
October 9, 2019

Is Self Care Keeping You Single?

So many women get discouraged with dating and say they need to take a break. I understand completely! Dating can be brutal, especially if you’re just winging it and hoping for the best. But the “take a break” strategy is totally ineffective. Think about it, do you take a break from the gym and hope you’ll be in better shape in a few months? No! The mere passage of time does nothing to change the results you’re going to get. If you want a different result, you need to learn how to make it happen. So, what do you really want from dating? How will you use your time away from the dating scene to learn how to get what you want? What will you do differently next time? This is the ultimate self-care, because it’s having your own back instead of checking out on yourself. It’s hard, but it’s […]
October 16, 2019

Shouldn’t I Be Able to Figure This Out on My Own?

You’re smart and successful. You’ve done so many things that have been challenging. On your own thank you very much! Why would you need help with something as basic as finding love? Shouldn’t that just happen? Except that it hasn’t yet. You’ve been waiting for years. You’ve paid your dues, tried online dating, speed dating, duty dating, not dating. You’ve probably had your heart broken too. Or spent years in a relationship (or three) that went nowhere. What you haven’t done is figured it out on your own. It’s ok to ask for help. People hire others to help them all the time. You probably have too. Doctors, attorneys, accountants, the guy who fixed your roof. You were happy to have access to their expertise and they helped you solve real problems. Doing things on your own (when they’re not working) is one of the most expensive and time-consuming ways […]
October 23, 2019

Should You Listen to Your Gut?

Listening to your gut can be extremely valuable at times. Other times, not so much. Consider this: Your life is the result of what you’ve been thinking and doing up until now. There are plenty of things in your life that are working very well. You have a place to live, food to eat, clean drinking water, probably even friends and family who love you. Then there are the things you want to change. You’ll need to do different things if you want change, because what you’re doing now is giving you what you have now. If you want something new, you need to do new things, live a new way. You can bring your gut with you, and not let it run the show. You can say, “Hey, I hear you gut, and we’re going to try this new thing now.” If you stick with this process, your gut […]
October 30, 2019

Should You Be Willing to Change?

We often bristle at the idea of changing in order to find love. We think “He should love and accept me as I am!” And it’s true that we all deserve to be loved and accepted. But the fact is that the person you are today is not in a long-term committed relationship and you want to be a person who is. Who is that person? We change things about ourselves all the time because we want what those changes bring. We eat different foods, exercise, get degrees and certifications, become parents. We make sacrifices in order to do those things; time, money, comfort, effort. Why do we think that a loving, committed relationship should be any different? Why not be willing to change to become the woman who’s sharing her life with a man she loves who loves her back? Wouldn’t it be fun? To learn more, check out […]