Dating has changed a lot in the last few years. It was complicated enough back in the day, but now with Facebook, texting, and online dating there’s a lot more to navigate. It is now possible, and not all that uncommon, to date someone in another part of the country or even another part of the world.
It’s great to be open to possibilities, but before you jump into a long-distance relationship, consider these questions.
What do I want? Do you want to get married and have children? Do you want to have someone present in your life on a daily basis? What kind of lifestyle do you want to have? Knowing the answers to these questions and acting accordingly will save you a ton of pain.
When you know what you want, you can choose to date people who are able meet your needs. Most men want to make their women happy. Make it easy for him and know what you want. Then pick a man who can give it to you.
Does this person want the same things I do? It’s easier to find out the other person’s relationship goals early on because not much is invested yet, so ask. Once you are clear on what you want in a relationship, ask open-ended questions and see what the other person says.
“What kind of relationship are you looking for?” works very well. Listen closely to what he says and determine whether this will work for you.
Be honest with yourself. There are plenty of people in this world to date and if you want a relationship with someone you will be able to see every day, you need to make choices that align with your wishes.
When we don’t know someone well yet, we tend to imagine things about them that may or may not be true.
Our minds tend fill in our knowledge gaps with what we would like to believe. Be aware of this and make sure you are seeing things clearly. Ask for and listen to advice from those who care about you.
Is it possible for us to meet our romantic goals with each other at this point in our lives? This is an important question because the answer determines whether or not you will remain in the relationship or move on.
No matter how much you like a person, you need to put yourself and your goals first. When you don’t, you can spend years of your life in a frustrating relationship and feel really jaded at the end. Don’t do this to yourself. It takes courage to stand for your dreams, but the payoff is huge.
You may have noticed that these questions don’t just apply to long-distance relationships. They are valid questions for anyone who is considering entering into, or leaving a relationship.
Answering these questions honestly requires courage, self-reflection, and honesty with yourself and the other person. Working on these things will serve you well in all relationships.
If you enjoyed this post and you’re ready to find the love of your life, check out my free video series “3 ways to find the love you want”.