Break the Pattern of Being Unavailable

Love Yourself
January 23, 2019
Intimacy While Dating
February 6, 2019

Break the Pattern of Being Unavailable

Are you keeping yourself single by choosing to date an unavailable man?

It’s very common to believe it’s the man who’s unavailable when really, its you!

I know it seems wrong, like blaming the victim, but think about it this way: if you’re REALLY available for a relationship, why on earth would you consider dating an unavailable man ever?

You wouldn’t! You’d be out of there the minute you knew he was unavailable, right?

Yet I see so many women put up with unavailable men for months or even years and then blame the guy. I actually used to do this a lot, so no judgement here, just realize that it does happen and it’s up to you to change it.

If you’re wondering if this applies to you, take a look at these 5 steps that make up the pattern:

Step 1: You find a guy who:

  • Won’t meet you
  • Isn’t interested in a relationship
  • Isn’t interested in a relationship with you; or,
  • Has left you

Step 2: You insist that he is the only person you could possibly be interested in. You think you have very good reasons for this, of course.

Step 3: You refuse to make an effort to date anyone else.

Step 4: You inevitably remain single.

Step 5: You blame him

Does any of this sound familiar?

If it takes longer than a week or two to set up a first date, or he keeps stalling on a subsequent date, this is a red flag. So is never going to his house or meeting any of his friends or family.

If he tells you he’s not interested in a relationship, believe him and move on. If he’s your ex and you’re still seeing him, stop.

If you keep seeing a man who’s unavailable, you’re making yourself unavailable by the simple act of remaining in the situation. If you’re doing this, ask yourself why.

If you really want to have a loving relationship with a man who’s willing to be part of your life, ending this pattern is essential. Be willing to be honest with yourself about what’s happening and make some changes.

For more ways to spot this pattern, check out this video:

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